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But, You Don’t Look Sick?

My next favorite ”Get better soon!”, well meaning maybe but, that’s not how chronic illness works.

I’ve seen blog posts on this topic, I’ve seen peoples thoughts on social media, and now have first-hand experience on how many judge-y assholes there are in the world.

Last year before Covid turned the world upside down, I was sitting at the dollar general – waiting for it to open after dropping the kids off at school. I was in my minivan waiting, parked in a handicap spot close to the door. There were a few others in their cars and some standing by the door.

As I watched the worker prepare to unlock the doors, I got out of my van and was greeted with ”Looking healthy today” with his head cocked to the side as if he was scorning me for using that parking place. He quickly apologized when I informed him I was a mere 3 months post op from open heart surgery and was still having issues.

The sorry wasn’t sincere, he got caught being a judgmental ass. This wasn’t my last encounter with peoples whispers and side glances and Im completely confident it will happen again.

If you’re not familiar with invisible illness, it includes an array of illnesses and diseases such as Multiple Sclerosis, CIDP, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, Connective Tissue Disorders, Dysautonomia, and many others. A quick google search can give you even more information on the different types of invisible illnesses.

Life is chaotic bills need paid, laundry is piling up, the kids have school work, the dog needs food, medicine needs picked up, there’s doctors appointments all time. As mom’s, as parents we know this is all hard. Add in a chronic illness and it becomes even harder, I say this not in comparaion but to remind everyone – even myself that everyone is fighting some sort of battle we know nothing about.

A new year is coming and with it I wish with my entire broken heart that we could all stop the sudden judgements and just be kind to one another.


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